Only a Nana Story ....

I know it's been a long time. I'm busy teaching summer school and looking for a job. So, only a "Nana" story would bring me out of hibernation.

I am broke. This comes from many years of subsisting on student loans. So, because of an "emergency" situation, I had to borrow money from Nana. I am teaching in the afternoons, so I had to pick her up at EXACTLY 9:00 this morning. We went to the bank. I hate her bank for reasons innumerable and irrefutable.

In her lock box right on top was an envelope with two mature CD's. One was for $18,000 something and the other was for exactly $53,999.02. She rolled the $18,000 something into a new CD and then took $3000 out of the other one. She gave me what I needed out of that and took the rest in cash for the riverboat. Whatever.

She asked me to come back to her house, write out some checks for her to sign, balance her checkbook, and pick up a couple of things she wanted to send home.

The first check was a gift to my parents for their wedding anniversary on the 4th. It's their 43rd anniversary so, as generous as my millionare grandmother can be, she wrote them a check for $43.00 [dripping sarcasm].

Next, she gave me the remote control that goes with the television that she put out on the street over the weekend and that has since "disappeared." She told me to give it to Doug because it could be worth something (the remote, not the broken television). She repeated several times that the remote was a Magnavox. It said "Zenith" on it, but who am I to argue?

Finally, she gave me a Ziplock with an envelope in it. The envelope was stuffed with old, used, empty packets of stool softener. I was to give this envelope to my mother and show her how to cut up these packets so that my mother could use them as emergency dental floss.

I don't know what to say.

I've gotta go. I swear I'll post more for both of my readers later.